Should boarding schools defer to parents or the holistic development of the children in their care?
Recently, I came across a communique by the Lagos State Education Board condemning the atrocious acts of male children in a boarding school in Ejigbo.
To understand the communique better, I followed a link to a disturbing video. In it, shirtless boys in a hostel, were drinking alcohol and smoking what appeared to be marijuana. For context: children in boarding schools in Nigeria are typically between 10 and 16 years old. I repeat…children.
The poster who shared the video placed the blame squarely on parents and cautioned other parents to be wary of their children’s associations.
Unsurprisingly, most of the comments under that post echoed the same sentiment: that “parenting has gone to the dogs.”
Not a problem.
But here’s where I have a slightly different perspective.
Parenting vs Boarding Schools: Shared Responsibility
Yes, parents are the primary caregivers and disciplinarians of children; as a parent myself, I cannot dispute that fact.
But we also say time and again that it takes a village to raise a child.
Now, in this case, the “village” is a licensed boarding school, entrusted with instilling values, discipline and structure. So, what happened here?
- Who is monitoring these children?
- Do they have housemasters and dormitory prefects?
- What role is the school principal playing?
- What is discussed at PTA meetings?
- Where are the rules and guidelines promised in the school prospectus?
Everybody knows what unsupervised teenagers can get up to. If a boarding school cannot provide the barest minimum of discipline and supervision, then it should not be licensed as one.
It is better for children to be home as day students…where their care lies entirely with their parents…than for a school to collect fees under the guise of providing a boarding experience and then fail in its responsibility.
The Institutional Failure of Boarding Schools in Lagos
Blaming parents alone is rather convenient, but not complete. The institution failed too.
A truly functional boarding school should have at the very least:
- Psychologists working with staff to identify behavioural issues and the management to implement enabling interventions
- Structures that proactively prevent risky behaviour.
- Housemasters and prefects with clear responsibilities and accountability.
Unfortunately, these days in Nigeria, once you have enough money you can become a school owner. The lack of regulation has created an environment where schools prioritize prestige and profit over children’s wellbeing.
This school in Ejigbo is clearly NOT an isolated case as we have had damning reports of unregulated atrocities in other schools.
Where Was the Lagos State Education Board?
I also fault the Lagos State Education Board here. Why wait for videos to pop up online before taking action?
Do we not have a regulatory arm mandated to visit schools regularly?
Shouldn’t there be behavioural specialists attached to these schools who can sniff out cover-ups before they spiral?
If I were the State Government, I would revoke the boarding school license of that school and dissolve the entire management. Leadership must be put under intense scrutiny.
Stress Mastery: The Missing Link in Children’s Wellbeing
When leadership fails, the result is chaos. And chaos ultimately breeds;
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms in children (like alcohol, drugs, and rebellion).
- Unnecessary stress for parents, who trusted schools to share responsibility.
- Breakdown of trust in Nigeria’s education system.
What we need is not just discipline but stress mastery at every level
Children need safe, guided environments where they learn healthy coping skills—not destructive habits.
Parents need the assurance that schools are partners, not stress multipliers.
School leaders must master the pressure of responsibility, rather than pass the blame.
Conclusion
Children’s wellbeing is a shared responsibility between parents, schools and the government. When any arm fails, the child suffers.
It is time for a stronger regulatory system, stricter licensing of boarding schools in Lagos and across Nigeria and an intentional commitment to stress mastery as part of education and parenting.
Because our children deserve better.
Article by;
Kris Oziofu Ekuafeh
Founder, The Wellness Boss Company Limited
